#5

I think that this has been an emotional week for most of us. In class Gwen mentioned that we have talked about racism for too long. Her statement really hit home for me. Now I'm not sure if she was referring to this class or discussing racism too long in general, but I really related to the statement. I've been at UT for three years now and out of the twenty something classes that I've taken here, I've discussed the idea of racism in every single one of them. I feel as though because UT is trying to be so diverse and open minded, it's stated somewhere and fine that you have to discuss something of black and white relations, as if there are no other races to discuss. Yes, I wan't to discuss my history every now and then and know my roots, but I don't want to have to sit through every class here and see in the syllabus RACISM. It does get a little overwhelming over time. I get taught enough about  racism just being on this campus. It's amazing how people think that just because this institution is a little diverse that somehow there is no way that this campus can be racist, and yet I pass by confederate statues every day, deal with rudeness, and people's thoughts of my inadequacies because of my skin color. Whewwwwww, that was a lot. Now back to our regularly scheduled program. 

I really enjoyed the Blackmon article this week, though it was an extreme eye opener for me. As much as I learn about the history of America and the people in it, it never ceases to amaze me of how scandalous it's roots were founded on. There were so many African Americans that died working in extreme FORCED conditions for the benefit of whites, and however there are no memories, no recollection, no documents, files or paperwork that even acknowledge that they were there? Amazing. Simply, amazing.

So many of the cities that are considered elite nowadays were made upon the backs of blacks, and I would be lying if I said that I wasn't proud, but yet resentful. To read that blacks in Atlanta, had no wealth, worked until death, and made the bricks that are probably still being walked on today is astonishing, and yet ironic.  Ironic because now Atlanta is known to many as where the "black elite" typically reside, Ironic is a sense that what blacks built centuries ago, is now theirs.

With every reading and every discussion there is some part of me that is starting to feel resentful. I know that I don't know people personally that are trying to erase my history or do harm to me, but it doesn't cease to shock me that this happened, and probably stilling happening.It bothers me that it seems as though there will never be a time where race isn't important. I happened to be watching a film entitled Gentlemen's Agreement one day and this quote has stuck with me ever since, the professor said "Because the world still makes it an advantage not to be one. Thus it becomes a matter of pride to go on calling ourselves Jews." I'm not Jewish, but this is almost the epitome of how I feel about being African American. Because we're overcome so much, because we're resilient, because it's my history, I am proud to be where I am and who I am.